Some time ago, I did think that in order to be happy like how everyone else was, I thought being married was the answer. I had my plans drawn out to be like everyone else's; go to school, get that degree, work, find a partner and everything else will fall into place. Yes?
I wanted to be like how others are, to be on a par with others my age.
However I forgot to realise that I am perhaps not meant to be on that same path as some of my friends are. I may not be meant to experience what they are experiencing because I am not meant to be on that journey (yet). I was living my life and fitting my schedule around my friends' married life. I forgot that I too needed to live and grow on my own.
When that realisation occured, that was when things slowly started to change to my liking. I was already having a good (some may view it as sad though) life, but when I learned to accept that I am just meant to be single for the time being, life just got even better. That was when I started to truly discover and understand myself much better than before. I started becoming that better version of myself.
Reconnect With Other Gfs
As some may think that I only have Ratna and Ayu in my life, that is partially true. I grew up with these two who has seen me at my best and worst. They are of course my offs. Technically, that title came with heavy responsibilities, of course. They were always around to entertain my ideas most of the time. But I do have other friends too and I started making time to meet up with them and catch up on things. I have so many group chats on my
whatsapp and they consist of friends from different walks of life at different stages of growing up. So whenever someone suggested to meet up, I try to free up some time for a meet.
At time, I would be the one suggesting and doing the planning as well to get others together. If any of my friends reading this post, anyone up for
teh tarik soon?
Plan Surprises
I am one who is always itching with ideas, or so I think. Given the resources I have, I thought of ways to surprise my friends of their birthdays. I enjoyed doing that. I enjoyed surprising my family and friends when they least expect it.
One of my main mission that I would like to keep doing is to outdo every surprise, each being better than before. This does not happen as much as I would like it to, but I kind of like doing this kind of planning. I found a balloon store near my place and I simply kept having balloons delivered to my work place whenever someone's celebrating their birthday. The look on their faces were priceless.
Which reminds me, someone's birthday is coming up soon and I should think of something special for her soon.
Learn Something New
I have to say, Youtube is my best friend when it comes to this. I learned many new stuff from Youtube. My favourite being how to do flatlays, which I am still not a master of it.
When it comes to make-up skills, I have to thank Erwin (my sister from another set of parents altogether). She is the QUEEN of cosmetics. Her make-up is always on point and I have always been mesmerised by her make-up skills. Sometimes she will show me how to contour, where I should blush, how to apply liquid eyeliner and so many more. Even at this age, I am a noob when it comes to make-up and she is forever my lifesaver. She never gets tired to send me videos of how to wing the liner, although I fail all the time, she never gets tired to push me to keep trying. What are sisters for right?
I always have love-hate relationships when it comes to cooking. Still, I do make time to learn to cook some of my all-time favourite dishes such as laksa, chicken in red sauce and a few more from my amazing mom. I think my cooking skills got better with time *blows fingernails*. Just do not expect me to be the next home cook Masterchef anytime soon.
Aside from those kind of skills, I also look for religious classes to deepen my understanding of my own religion. I signed up for them, attend them and come back home feeling good and slightly wiser.
I also signed up for some other short courses and I am considering to do another degree, learning something out of my comfort zone. It is a consideration, but I do not have as much time as I used to compared to the days when I was younger. So for now, short courses are good and it keeps me going and on my toes.
Catch Up On Some Reading
I am not really a huge fan of reading. But when the mood comes, I only put the books down simply to fill my tummy up and bio break, then it's back to the books again. There are also times when I never got around to finish the books that I started. The types of books that I indulge in varies from time to time. I would love a good romance book in my native language anytime. But I also enjoy books from different genres such as science-fiction, biographies as well as personal development. Even if I did not finish reading some of them, there are always some take-aways from those books.
It does feel good that I manage to gain some knowledge from these books. I also felt inspired to do something and inject something interesting into my so-called mundane lifestyle. It gave me ideas to embark on some personal project from time to time.
For example, when I read
The No Spend Year by Michelle McGagh, I was impressed by her willpower to not spend for that 365 days that she put her mind to. I know I have a hard time just saying no to my favourite cookie brand each time I pass by the cookie stand. So this book definitely got my attention.
McGagh shared her idea, her reasons for doing so, the challenges and frustrations she had to go through and more. However, on the hindsight, there were many positive impacts and outcomes one could learn from it. If we put our mind into doing something we thought we could not do, but challenge ourselves to do it, we will actually discover some new stuff along the way.
In doing this, I would sometime look for quiet cafes without much crowd and spend my time in there, being inspired and jot down notes on how I could apply the ideas the ideas from the books I read to my life.
Staycation
I do not do this staycation idea often, I always feel that the money could be better channeled elsewhere. But sometimes, I know I needed time away to be with myself; alone. Since I am not allowed to travel alone, staycation is the answer. When this happens, I spend quality time with myself a.k.a
ME - time.
I would check out when the pool is not crowded, spend some time swimming. Or chill in the hotel cafe by myself watching the world go by with a cup of hot chocolate. I would extra love it if the room comes with bath tub without me realising I booked for it.
During these moments, the quality time filled with rest and relaxation helps me rejuvenate. I would leave the place feeling happier, and being happy is always a good reason.
Redecorate My Personal 'Space'
By personal space here, I pretty much meant anything that needs physical or maybe emotional space.
Personal Space
I carry a journal-cum-schedule book with me almost everywhere I go. It is a book by Kikki-K which contains 365 pages. Before the year started, I already filled the pages up with pictures, wash tapes, stickers and even drawings of my designs of what I like. Yet, at the same time, I ensured that I have more than enough space to write down all the things that needs to be done daily. Sometimes I will add in inspiring quotes to inculcate the positive vibes in me.
On good days (trust me, this happens a lot), I will note down the good stuff as memories in that very book which I will look back whenever I felt down. Eventually over time, I was always looking at matters in positive light daily.
Right now I am currently looking at the possibility to redecorate my room. Been going around the island looking for furniture, inspiring decors from cafes and interiors to see what I like and what will make me feel even better than I already am. This is another personal project of mine that I am excited to work on and I just cannot wait to see the results. But first, I need to find another blocked leave to book the painters because I want this blocked leave to work on myself, becoming that better version of myself.
Emotional Space
As I age day by my day, yes I am well-aware of my fine graceful age. I no longer have the energy to get worked up over trivial matter or even any matter at times. I welcome the zen mindset; peace and harmony. I got rid of emotional baggages that were weighing me down. A lot of things no longer matter to me.
There were time when unhappy situations did occur, I learned to pick myself up and move on. Even when someone chose to paint me in bad light, the best thing I could do, is to remove myself completely from the toxic situation. Peace, and I am out. If the person cannot deal with my exit, it is not my problem. I need to maintain my sanity.
This may not be the best way for others, but everyone has their own calming mechanism to neutralise themselves and the situation. Mine works that way.
Working Out
Before my fall when I hit my tailbone, I was working out often. I used to do yoga and zumba regularly. At times I would drop by the nearest public pool and work on building my stamina. I am not a good swimmer and I still have some fear of the water, but I am overcoming my fear for it still.
My specialist is one amazing doctor. He never fails to continuously encourage me.
'Do not limit yourself simply due to the surgery. Live your life like a normal person, because you are normal,' those were his constant words to not hold myself back.
Lately, I have been slowly preparing myself mentally to get back to the working out stage again. I have been going on walks on my own to test myself. I had bearable pains so far during those long walks. Soon, I will be ready to be back in my workout attire again.
Promote What I LOVE
I love fashion and I love styling myself up with clothes. I also love being comfortable in what I wear. These days when I head to work, I keep it real. Wearing comfortable clothes as I am needed to be all over the places. When it is not work-related, that is when I morphed into something else altogether. Skirts, dresses, wide pants, heels and the next thing I know, I am doing my #ootd at my favourite wall or any background which is
instagram worthy. Some days, I just love being in my slippers everywhere I go, it is who I am.
I experiment this love that I have for fashion on myself, changing my own mindset that I can actually look good with some colours and check out how some mismatched pairing can do wonders.
Another love that I keep neglecting is my love for this space of mine in naimefied.com. So many things happened that I wish I could jot them down in here more often that I hoped for. Make time, I keep telling myself that. I should. I will. I must! Oh dear time, please move slower.
Enjoy Breakfast Out
I hardly get to enjoy breakfast when I am working. I do love to eat but I have limited choices when it comes to having breakfast at work. So when I am on blocked leave, or when I do get the chance to go on staycation or vacation somewhere, I look forward to places with good breakfast. A good breakfast is always a fantastic start of any day.
Being Unavailable
Being single does not have to mean it is the end of my social life. My dear best friends Ratna and Ayu were always around, always ready to catch me whenever I fell, and they did that a lot. So did Erwin. She too was always ever-ready to surrender her shoulder to me whenever the need arises, or let me pick her brains each time I needed ideas, or spend any nights with her, checking out some place to eat. Most of the time we squabble over places to eat. We are fickle like that. #girls
Once I welcomed this idea of singlehood and embraced it, that is when I truly lived. I actually worked on making future plans to do stuff, create ideas and content, expanding that idea into something more meaningful than its original intention was. I also started my own personal projects for myself every now and then. I worked on making my life even more meaningful.
I found myself being more open to make new discoveries with like-minded friends. I made new friends along the way, spend more quality time with my family members. There were time when I wanted to do things by myself, and I did. It was fun. I learned that I could actually do things that I never ever thought I could possibly do. I met so many nice people in my classes and it was easy to start conversations with the person sitting next to me, be it an aunty, elderly couples and even the staff of the cafe or coffee joint.
When I got myself busy with myself and all these things I wanted to do and explore, I became unavailable for the dramas and headaches I sometimes experience with ridiculous people. I was able to move away from these negative vibes and create my own happy space.
As I engulfed myself with the pleasure of happiness, it was easy for me to say,
'I'm not looking' when someone suggested I meet someone they know who they thought might be a perfect match for me. Or if a guy casually asked if we should start seeing each other on a regular basis because he thinks I am awesome. Yeah dude, I am amazing too in case you did not notice.
Things are going well and great for me. Maybe in the future I would probably share more about my personal life in here, but for now, I am loving this singlehood moment to the fullest. When I started my
Dear 2017 project, I never expected so much of wonderful experience to come attached to it given my single status. But it did and I am working on making the best of it, being that bertter version of myself.
