Rules On A Date

I was out with Jules some time ago, dining and catching up at a nice restaurant for hours talking and laughing away. We got our food, had our drinks and even had a huge slice of rich chocolate cake to celebrate our so many years of friendship. It was a wonderful evening.

In the middle of enjoying our delicious cake, we realised the couple who just sat next to us seemed to be awfully quiet. Their silence was deafening. They were both just entirely submerged in their phones, no exchange of sentences, much less any conversation and both seemed miserable just being there. 

We, on the other hand, were happily laughing endlessly as we talked about tonnes of things. Their silence however, made us uncomfortable. We quickly finished our cake, paid and walked off. 

Me: Hey, did you notice the couple next to us? They seem ‘off’.

Jules: Yeah. They were quiet. Do you think they were both having an argument? Or maybe it’s their first date?

Me: Both are possible. A blind date maybe? Or maybe they are texting each other via their phones?  hahahahah.

That moment right there that we both experienced, gave me an idea to write a post on this kind of situation. I am not expert on this of course, but I remember discussing this issue being the usual topic as part of our ‘growing older’ chapter of our lives. We had fun talking about this issue of what should and should not be done as a basic effort on both sides during the first date or the getting-to-know-you date(s). 

Do note however that these pointers are entirely my personal opinion. It may or not work on anyone. You can try it just for fun even if you are married and have totally forgotten the wonders of dating your partner. 

Firstly, if you guys are hungry, (try to) choose a place which is not too crowded so that you both can have a comfortable conversation without being judged by the patrons sitting next to you (such as me, hahahahaha). Actually it would be best altogether if you avoid the entire dinner rush hour where you will need to queue and wait for a table. The off-peak hours also help in choosing a table with a nice view somewhere. Perhaps you guys can go after lunch or before dinner kind of timing, where there will be lesser patrons and you do not need to wait too long for your order.

Being in the age of technology, it would be nice if both parties could put their phones aside. Focus on the person sitting in front of you. Have a 2-way conversation. What is a 2-way conversation, here let me demonstrate.

Guy: So how was your day?

Girl: It was pretty much alright. We had quite an intense meeting earlier, but otherwise everything else was good. How was your day?

Guy: Not too bad. I managed to clear quite a bit of stuff. Anyway what do you think is good to order here?

See, keep the conversation flowing, get to know each other better. Even if things do not get serious between the two of you, you get yourself a good buddy there. At the same time, try to switch the phone to silent mode for a while. It can be quite rude as you are trying to have a conversation, your date’s phone does not seem to stop. I for one, would be a very, very annoyed date. 

After dinner, how about dessert? There are a bunch of hipster cafes around the island. Even McDonalds has Mc Cafe which is open 24/7. Grab a slice of cake and get to know the person you are dating better. 

Once you are done with dinner and dessert, it would be nice if the gentleman could be so kind and send or accompany the lady back home or to her next location. Ladies, thank the gentleman for being so kind in sending you back. That is part of being a lady and being polite.

So what happens after that? 

Ok, I think this all for now. Let's keep this entry simple and basic. Point is, the rule is to enjoy the date, the moment and live. Why ask someone out only to waste both your time? It is time you both will not get back. Since you are on a date, enjoy the time. Be there, do not be distracted with other matters, you have later for those distractions. Just make sure you make the best of that moment. 

Harom Candles

Hello July,

As I am writing this entry, I am sitting next to my window with the feel of a lovely breeze coming through it. I have been having hectic weekdays and weekends for many many weeks. So when June came about last month, I welcomed it.

June has always truly been a dear month for me personally. I have been looking forward to June since probably after March. June usually means I have a bit more time for myself, to recuperate from the stress and the fatigue that I have been experiencing the past couple of months. To reflect and find myself again. To recover from the mental exhaustion and get back up with a fresh view and perspectives.

As the past few months have been quite hectic for me, I realised that the first thing I look forward to when I reached home, was to light up whatever candles I have in my home. Candles have always been a precious commodity to me. It usually calms my nerves, relaxes my mind and more often than not, helps me fall sleep peacefully. I would also have reed diffusers in my wash room and even at my work desk to ensure that I am constantly surrounded with wonderful scent. 

One of the things that I have always wanted to do was to create my own candles and perhaps mix up the scent, creating my own signature scent to my liking and having the honour to present them to my friends on special occasions, house warming and pretty much everything else. So I got down to seriously learn more about these candles. I read up about them, watch various videos about ways to create one and I jumped on the opportunity when Hanan, the owner and founder of Quofic conducted hands-on candle making workshop. She is truly an angel. She is one of those person who is simply beautiful on the outside and superbly amazing even on the inside. She helped make sense of what things that I did not understand and I pray the Almighty reward her and her entire family with endless blessing. 

Psst… Hanan said she will be conducting another round of candle making workshop after Eid festival this year. For those who would like to learn more about candles, keep a lookout for the workshop notification on her instagram. One would even be able to bring home his or her very own candle they created at the workshop. 

Anyway, recently, I got determined to create my own candles for my home and have my home filled with floral, citrus and even fresh scent during Eid season. Boy, I was determined to find create my own candle. Guess what… 

Harom Candles was born. I was working on this and spend a good amount  of time gathering constructive feedback on ways to improve them. I am blessed that I had family and friends who were more than willing to test them out and gave sincere inputs on a whole lot of things. It certainly helps. 

So soon, I will have the perfect gift to those who wish to light up their homes (and maybe for some, their lives) with Harom Candles. 

Been Away

It has been quite a while since I last wrote in here. Even as I am typing this, I have tonnes of work waiting for me to attend to but before that happens, let me squeeze some time here.

Earlier this year, I had a lot of plans. However, something got in the way which dampened my spirit and my plans. I choose not to talk about the matter and found myself drowning deeper into it. My sleep was badly affected. My emotions were a roller coaster ride without an unknown end. I found myself to be walking on eggshells most of the time due to the situation. 

Things got from bad to worse and I found myself to be utterly negative. I would sit in my favourite cafe sipping my hot chocolate and looking into a blank piece of screen. It did not feel right writing as all I wanted to do was to seek shelter somewhere, away from what I was experience. It was bad. I never expected it to happen. There were days where I would write my entry and I found my content to be lifeless, mundane and it was a reflection where I knew that when I look back, I know I would not like it one bit. So I did what I knew would be best.

I started staying away from the cause of the issue, which was absolutely hard. I laid low and to be frank, all I wanted was the peaceful life I used to have. The sujud in my prayers were prolonged as I understood the tests came from Him and I needed His help. It was not easy as I was mentally drained, emotionally bruised and tired from my everyday ongoing matter. I read books which were supposed to calm my mind. It helped a bit; somewhat. There were days I drove to some peaceful spots in Singapore to ease my own tension. 

And now, Alhamdulilah, things are much calmer and better than before. There were so many people who rendered help despite the silence, who asked if things were alright, who took it upon themselves to ensure things turn out to be better. 

I reflected on the situation. I learned that sometimes, some things are seriously beyond our control and accepting that fact is an entirely different thing altogether. 

As for now, welcome back into my life, Peace. I missed you.

To all Muslims who have gracefully welcomed the holy month of Ramadan, have a blessed fasting month. 

Featuring You, Beautiful

This is the one thing in Naimefied which I have been occupying myself with lately and I have been keeping it under wraps for as long as I could. This is also part of my #hello2018 project. I do feel good working on this baby of mine. Finally it is March and March is always a good month for me. Since I just turned 35 not too long ago, I decided that today will be a good day to reveal this little 'secret'. Personally, I believe that this is a wonderful idea yet a scary one at the very same time.  

I decided to label this segment as, 'Featuring You, Beautiful'. This space that I have been working on is meant to feature people from all walks of life, indefinite sizes and I wanted a space without them being judged. What am I talking about? People are going to judge, haters are just going to hate. Regardless, it does not matter what people think or what others would like to say. No one is perfect. True, everyone has their own share of flaws. Yet, it does not mean that we cannot embrace the flaws that makes a person uniquely him or her. We have no idea what the person has been through in order to be where he or she is now. We can however, celebrate the beauty a person possess; the kindness of the heart, the beautiful side of her or her character, accepting himself or herself as what to who he or she really is, beyond looks. 

What makes this person beautiful may not necessarily be in just his or her good looks, the labels they wear, how high her heels are and so much more. I wanted this space to be a space that I could look back one day and tell my kids and future generations to come how big the world really is out there and how unique and special everyone is out there. I would like for them to view the world with kindness, be kind to others and if they did not meet anyone kind in anywhere they are at, be kind anyway. 

Beauty can be found in anyone and everyone, if we choose to see it. Being beautiful in FYB goes beyond the skin. Learn to look at people and life in any positive light as much as possible. Being optimistic in life will ease things you never thought possible. 

In Featuring You, Beautiful, I decided to feature my dear friends. Some are my friends that I grew up with, some I grew close with, some goes way back since our schooling days, some I got to know and learned their stories along the way, seeing how they gritted their teeth and persevered despite facing obstacles, challenges and more. I personally admire these beautiful people I crossed path with, the daily heroes of my life. I read a lot about inspiring people to motivate myself, at the same time, I am blessed to be surrounded by so many more real people who are just as inspiring as those from the pages of books and magazines that I have read. Let this segment, be their voice and tell their story with a glimmer of hope that someone out there will be inspired, just as how they touched my heart. 

With that, welcome to ‘Featuring You, Beautiful’. I hope you enjoy reading about them as much as I enjoyed featuring them all.

The Open Session....Singapore Edition

Confession #1: I have always been envious of the ladies who are in Morocco and London attending The Open Session with the very beautiful, Aida Azlin. These ladies have no idea how I wish I was them, there, in London and Morocco. 

Ever since I attended Aida Azlin's Dear Hopeful Singleton's class which she conducted last year with Ustazah Musfirah, I was amazed by both of them. They are young, always so positive and they tirelessly represent the true meaning of resilience. 

Confession #2: I have a huge girl crush on Aida Azlin. She is such an inspiring lady. I look forward to her love letters every Tuesday and would sometimes read them over and over again to knock sense into myself. I know it does not quite make sense to many, but I hope this feeling resonates with others who do look forward to her love letters. I do not think I am the only one, right?

So, when I read Aida’s love letter last Tuesday, I saw a link that she was conducting her first Open Session right here, back in her hometown, Singapore, I quickly clicked on the link and secured a seat. I did not care if I was going to attend the session alone, or that I might feel out of place, or awkward, or whatever. I just signed up and worry about all that later. Screw all that thought, I was making thing happen for myself, by attending the first Open Session in Singapore!

Confession #3: I was quite excited for the day to come and was superbly curious about the sharing session. I was wondering how this gathering of sisters from all over Singapore would be beneficial to me and the rest of the attendees. 

I came with an open mind and a happy heart. What was the worse that could happen? My favourite bread shop, Konditori, was located below venue and I would return home with my hands full of bread and pastries (which I did). I know I will sleep with my tummy full if the session disappointed me. But I had huge faith in Aida, she would not let me down.

Confession #4: I learned a lot. When I meant a lot, I meant A-WHOLE-LOT. Here’s just a few things that was shared and remembered based on my memory.

1. What love can do to you
2. Getting closer to the Deen
3. Detachment from people because of love
4. Being an instant mom, fostering 3 kids out of the blue.
5. Finding love for yourself, your family, your friends and others.
6. Marrying someone because of an even greater love, for His sake.
7. Grief because her best friend got married, then another lady shared her own experience about how her own bestie got married and how things would still be ok eventually.

There are more but I am just going to keep it to 7. The session was mind-blowing. I tried to hold back my tears when sisters shared about their path, their journey, their experience. I was in awe with the strength they had in them. What I had gone through, was nothing compared to their's. They were fiercely awesome.

During the session, my thoughts wandered to so many things that could be expanded. Loving what we do, daily. Waking up daily simply because you know you’re going to have a kick-ass day because we love life, we love what our tasks at hand and you really mean it! That just got me inspired me further to work on another entry. But that shall be for another time.

Confession #5: I personally think this Open Session should be conducted more often, maybe a monthly gathering for sisters from all walks of life. If that was how great the first session was, I cannot imagine how wonderful the future sessions will be. Dear Aida, do consider grooming someone within AA to still continue this session in Singapore, even when you are in Morocco or London. Topics can be the same. That way, sisters all over the world are sharing, uniting and supporting one another through The Open Session. 

I am sure many among those who turned up benefited from the session and would love for this to be a regular thing. I know I will be looking forward to future sessions, if there is any. I hope I am not the only one thinking this.

Aida, thank you for doing what you do. Thank you for conducting The Open Session, it was an eye-opening and mind-blowing experience learning about the topic of the day. Your spirit in championing sisterhood and uniting us all is simply admirable. Continue this path where you shine the very best and at the same time, letting others shine too. In the mean time, I shall wait patiently for the upcoming love letter which will sit lovingly in my inbox tomorrow. 

For those of you who are wondering what is so amazing about this Tuesday’s Love Letters all about, click here and sign up for it. I hope you too feel the love of sisterhood.  

naimefied look:

hijab: The World Map dUCk

top: Uniqlo

pants: Thavia The Label

Dear Google... I Do!

Years ago,  I tried to apply for a position in Google. 

But what can you possibly do in Google, Naime? I am sure many would have wondered about that.

Well, Google has all the answers, I am sure they can find me a creative position somewhere in there. *flips scarf*

Unfortunately, I think I probably screwed up my interview and of course, there would have been so many other better candidates out there who would do wonders in the position I applied for. Needless to say, I did not get the job. 

Ever since then, I knew I had in me to be able to be a consideration to possibly work in THE best company in the world. Since I was shortlisted for an interview, that was a good sign, right? Knowing that possibility alone, became a drive for me to push myself as well as my own boundaries to perform better, that I was probably Google worthy enough. Oh, the things I tell myself to make me feel good. 

But frankly deep down, I know I have many areas for improvement and I still have a lot to learn from the ground.

Recently, when I received an invitation for work-related matters at Google Office APAC, it was an immediate ‘Yes!’ from me. Oh my, it felt like Google proposed to me to try out my very famous teh tarik (best in Bedok Reservoir) in their brightly lit cafeteria (I kid you not, my teh tarik is the bomb!), discuss about how wonderful of an addition I would be to them, followed by candle light dinner in front of their LEGO Wall and even a romantic comedy midnight movie at their famous mega Google Wall before ending the night. I think I just made Google sound like a tall, dark and handsome prince from the enchanted castle of Mapletree Business City 2.  

Given the opportunity to visit THE best company in the world, having read and heard so much about their work place, I am (still) in awe how Google created their work place to be a conducive working environment. One can sit anywhere and maybe everywhere to get their work done, have a discussion, meet up with group members and so many more. Just one visit to that legendary office got me inspired to push my limits and be even more productive. 

I foresee myself moving my own bed in and maybe even being happy to be working on a Sunday there, hahahahahaha. 

After the visit to the legendary office, I believe all of us could do up our place (regardless whether it is our home or workplace) to be like Google’s. Why wait for the opportunity to work there to be productive, to push boundaries and go beyond expectations? Look within our own space and think of opportunities or what can be done with the space that we have, rather than leaving it bare and unused, worse still, forgotten entirely.

Looking at the way things are going now, I am going to pretend that Google proposed to me and I totally said yes, again! With this imagination, I will be performing way beyond expectation than what I initially set for myself. You might probably see me at the lounge more often these days, in some quiet corner working on my ideas, proposals, projects, googling up ways to instil creativity and so much more. 

When I need more interesting sights (beyond the work wall), you might even see me at my favourite Starbuck cafe doing some work and writing contents for this blog of mine. After all, I am the Chief Executive of naimefied.com, ehem, ehem. I need to work extra hard for this platform.

So dear Google, anytime you guys think I am going to be a great addition to your Google family, it is an absolute, ‘I Do!’ from me.

Now guys, if you are Google, did I just melt your heart? 

 

Psst... For the love of dUCk, I just had to post a shot of D's famous purple dUCk box amongst the Google giant signage. It felt like I just unlocked an amazing achievement! D, I hope you are reading this. I did this for you!

If being invited to Google is the start of never missing the opportunity to be amazing in 2018, I cannot wait for the endless blessings of 2018 to unfold and create more wonders. 

Thank you Google for the opportunity to experience a moment in your WOW office! 

naimefied look:

hijab: dUCk

top: aere

pants: thavia the label

shoes: christy ng

Hello 2018

Hello 2018,

Of course, January has obviously ended and this post should have been up since weeks back. It should be, Hello February 2018, but oh well, here in naimefied, anything is possible!

Back in 2017, I created #dear2017 to be my own personal project for myself. Unexpectedly, I had such a wonderful time working on it. What started as a simple idea got me into learning so many different things, signing up for classes, gaining new knowledge, I started reading more often, finding my own inner peace and so many more. I may not have had the energy to have listed them down as often as I would like to, but it sure was a year filled with so many wonders. Blessed would have been too mild of a word to describe the journey in this personal project of mine. To all the people I crossed path with, worked with, met and more throughout 2017 and before, thank you for the many countless, unforgettable memories.  

Although January 2018 has come to a beautiful end, I looked back at the notes I had made to myself some time back which was meant for 2018. I knew the positivity of 2017 needed to be rolled over into this wonderful year, so I thought of these which I think would be a wonderful so called ‘resolution’ for 2018. I do not normally do resolutions, simply because I just am not a resolution sort of person. But I figured this year, let me give this a shot.

So here’s the list of how I would love my 2018 to be:

1. Create opportunities for myself 
2. Create more possibilities of happy moments 
3. Make time to disconnect/ unplug my mind so that i can declutter from unproductive thoughts
4. Simplify and focus (this is supposed to help me with my procrastination mode with happens endlessly
5. Have good thoughts of people
6. Influence good thoughts of people onto others (especially if/when they are on not so good mood)
7. Never miss the opportunity to be Amazing!

7 is my favourite number. It is not too much nor too little. So I am not going to be too ambitious and over promise myself on this. These are doable things on my list which I believe I will work on achieving them. I just need to procrastinate less of course. So this list will (in my mind), help me overcome procrastination and slap it wherever it hurts most, hahahahaha.

So if you ask me, 2018 is not only going to be an amazing year, I am going to work on making sure it is AMAZING. 

So #hello2018, here comes Naime…

naimefied look:

hijab: dUCk

top: aere (blue), love bonito (white)

pants: love, bonito