It has been quite a while since I last wrote in here. Even as I am typing this, I have tonnes of work waiting for me to attend to but before that happens, let me squeeze some time here.
Earlier this year, I had a lot of plans. However, something got in the way which dampened my spirit and my plans. I choose not to talk about the matter and found myself drowning deeper into it. My sleep was badly affected. My emotions were a roller coaster ride without an unknown end. I found myself to be walking on eggshells most of the time due to the situation.
Things got from bad to worse and I found myself to be utterly negative. I would sit in my favourite cafe sipping my hot chocolate and looking into a blank piece of screen. It did not feel right writing as all I wanted to do was to seek shelter somewhere, away from what I was experience. It was bad. I never expected it to happen. There were days where I would write my entry and I found my content to be lifeless, mundane and it was a reflection where I knew that when I look back, I know I would not like it one bit. So I did what I knew would be best.
I started staying away from the cause of the issue, which was absolutely hard. I laid low and to be frank, all I wanted was the peaceful life I used to have. The sujud in my prayers were prolonged as I understood the tests came from Him and I needed His help. It was not easy as I was mentally drained, emotionally bruised and tired from my everyday ongoing matter. I read books which were supposed to calm my mind. It helped a bit; somewhat. There were days I drove to some peaceful spots in Singapore to ease my own tension.
And now, Alhamdulilah, things are much calmer and better than before. There were so many people who rendered help despite the silence, who asked if things were alright, who took it upon themselves to ensure things turn out to be better.
I reflected on the situation. I learned that sometimes, some things are seriously beyond our control and accepting that fact is an entirely different thing altogether.
As for now, welcome back into my life, Peace. I missed you.
To all Muslims who have gracefully welcomed the holy month of Ramadan, have a blessed fasting month.
